Return to the Indieweb

July 8th, 2024 // 12:05am

Dear reader, it's been quite some time since I've posted a blog post hasn't? 2024 was one of the wildest years of my life and in the later part of the year I realized I really needed to prioritize self care and long term goals over self indulgence.

However, I have gotten better at managing not only my time, but also my priorities and routines. I remembered the sentiment “having discipline now is having empathy for your future self” and have been trying hard to apply that to my thoughts and actions on a regular basis. With that being said, being more disciplined about my priorities means I get to have more leisure time (as a treat :3). Thus, my descent back down the indieweb rabbit hole continues.

Taking A Break From HTML

At the beginning of 2024, when I discovered neocities and rediscovered my love for webdev, I was actually at an extremly low place mental health wise. A bunch of really wild really fucked up shit had just happened to me and when I found neocities the timing felt so perfect it was almost like a divine intervention.

Unfortunately as time went on and I started to learn more about webdev I started love it TOO much. My mental health had improved but only to a certain degree because instead of being sad I was just distracted. I got so distracted and so engrossed I started neglecting basic needs. Just sitting at my computer for hours and hours going without food or water or social interaction working on my website.

Thankfully towards the end of the summer I realized I should really take a break. I started going to the gym again, started doing more photoshoots, started getting even more into makeup, and it made me feel even happier. I want to keep living my life to the fullest so I actually have more thoughts, pictures, and memories to FILL my site with.

Reactivating My Facebook

In one of the posts I made on my old blog I said I said I would never go back on Facebook again. The lie detector determined: THAT was a lie cause guess who went right back on there a few months ago. I'm so glad that I did or else I would have missed so many more photos and updates from my friends. Got to see my friends wedding photos, got to see another friends announcement for getting into law school, got to see many pregnancy announcements and got to interact with and be inspired by a lot of new people and creators. I definitely wrote that post while my mental health wasn't the best and it really feels like classic bpd black and white thinking survival abandonment because of wild dramatic shit that happened there before.

There's definitely a grey area and multiple things can be true about Facebook at once. That being said I have redeveloped the bad habbit of going on the app first thing in the morning and it annoys me. Wish me luck on trying to break it! Just going to set a timer on all my social media apps this year to maximize productivity.

All Hail Carrd Co

A big of what made my webdev engrossment so unhealthy before is that I'd become glued to my pc or laptop and wouldn't wanna move away until I finished what I was currently working or solved a problem I was having. While I was taking time I laway from the indieweb I decided to update the carrd site I made for NSFW content I changed the width, changed some colors, created and added new graphics, and updated the links. The sentiment "action comes first, motivation comes second" is so extremely true because just these small actions gave me webdev fever again.

I discovered a new motivation to use carrd as a host because of how easy it is to make containers and optimize for mobile responsiveness. The main thing that got me excited about carrd? The ability to make responsive web pages on my phone. With carrd pro, and google drive now I can easily make web pages and insert code snipets from literally anywhere. In bed, on the couch, at work, etc etc. Plus, I have a galaxy fold 5 and I can edit both the desktop version and mobile versions of pages from the inner screen as well as see how they will look on different sized screen by resizing the browser app window. (*´꒳`*ㅅ) Very happy I decided to comb8ne my knowlege of carrd and knowledge of HTML to make a portable workflow that really works for me.

All Hail Nekoweb

Notice how this doesn't say all hail NEOCITIES. Well, this is why

From Kyle Drake, the owner of neocities', blog:

Versus the statement on the FRONT PAGE of nekoweb

As an artist the right choice is clear and obvious. I am going to move all my files from neocities to nekoweb and impliment a redirect code on my index. I dont plan to completely abandon neocities as there are still many active users and personal websites there that are fun to explore.

Catch Me On Bluesky

My new primary app for yapping is bluesky! Its very similar to twitter, but with way less political far right shock value bullshit. I can actually scroll through the discover page without seeing rage bait or devestating news, its great!

You can follow my new profile here!

Wont Catch Me in the Neocities or Nekoweb Discord Servers

I used to be an active member of the neocities discord server, but decided to leave for two reasons:

1. Parasocial behavior

The creepy situaion with the infamous past moderator Divsel (the creator of neorings) happened specifically because I of all people joined the neocities server

I unfortunately have had a history of being harassed and stalked by weirdos online since I was a minor. Div discovered some of this and chose to get involved after interacting with me in the server many times. Some of the other server members decided to screenshot some of their private messages with him because he began to talk about me behind my back in a weird way, but they pretended to go along and agree with him despite clocking his weirdness just to see what all he would say and how it would play out in the end.

In the messages, he talked about me as if I were a character in a book or tv show he had a "love/hate mixed feelings" type relationship with, rather than a real life human being who eats, drinks, drives to work, and bleeds red just like any other person with feelings. When I expressed concerns about someone posting racial slurs on my neocities profile, he took it upon himself to try to fight the trollz on my behalf (real unsolicited simp behavior. Real white knight type beat). As Im sure you can imagine, the harassment I was already facing got worse. This situation combined with the follower bot he added to his site and then making multiple knew troll sites was just.......really fucking weird for me.

I joined neocities because I just wanted to make a cute website. Dassit. Didnt want any of this drama chaos confusion or madness. That AND I joined with the idea for an image board project and he totally stole my idea and just made it himself without showing me anything he did. I still tried to be supportive of and he still ended up being a weirdo.

2. Feeling uncomfortable being in that close proximity to minors online

Another important reason is the sheer amount of minors in both servers. Not only were the behaviors of many extremely annoying to me, but also as someone who creates and interacts with NSFW content it felt innapropriate for me to be there. There were a few kids in the neocities server who did genuienly help me with trouble shooting and lead me to webdev resources that helped learn a lot and to them I am genuinely appreciative of and I hope they grow up to do great things in the world of art and design. Because of the weirdness that happened in the server previously, though, I also dont want to expose them to trolls or harassment like I was at a young age.

Conclusion

Tldr.......we're so back (っ˘ω˘c ) thanks for reading to the end.